Life Imitates Art

There is a web site, College Ranking Service, that is produced by "a non-profit organization dedicated to providing rankings of colleges in a manner suitable for students, university leaders, and tuition paying parents."

The home page says:

"We take our rankings seriously. Each college is painstakingly analyzed, as if under a microscope, for its flaws and degree of polish. The rankings found on www.rankyourcollege.com represent thousands of hours of research, and are updated annually or at the discretion of the Director.

The Board of the College Ranking Service, composed of Nobel Prize Winners and Captains of Industry, remains anonymous to ensure the integrity of the rankings.

The Director is also anonymous, however, rest assured that he is a prominent member of the academy and a professor of the highest regard at one of the most prestigious universities in the world."

There is also a disclaimer:

"There is no such thing as the "College Ranking Service." But the hyperbole and baloney contained in this web site are not that different from equally silly, but maddeningly serious college ranking publications and web sites offered by the media.

It is a sham and a scam to try to rank the quality of universities like sports franchises. Media publications that do this should be laughed out of existence. They simply measure wealth ("The Classic Method" on this web site), which is something that is at best obtusely related to quality.

Regardless of their lack of validity, media-based college rankings are having a negative influence on higher education. Tuition paying parents and their children are swayed by the false prestige these rankings imply. The push to get into a "top ten" school has created added pressure on students to stuff their high school years with lofty sounding, but often meaningless accomplishments. It has been partly responsible for the rise of a college application industry that provides services (like SAT prep classes and college application consulting) of dubious worth."

CRS also describes its methodology:

"In the course of developing our methodology, we found that our rankings had unique properties. First, we noted a phenomenon well known in particle physics, but unheard of heretofore in ranking systems: a college, like a subatomic particle, could be two or more places at once. In other words, individual colleges could have multiple rankings!

Second, we noted the well known and by now passe Heisenberg phenomenon in our rankings: our rankings were influenced by our evaluation. The more we looked at them in great detail, the more variability we saw. Finally, we found a butterfly effect: small perturbations in our extensive data base resulted in significant changes in our rankings.

The combined influences of these phenomena we term the Kanoeddel effect, in honor of the Director's mother's Passover matzah balls, which even though they were made at the same time, had a wide range in density (from that of cotton balls to that of granite pebbles). In Yiddish, the word for "matzah ball" is "kanoeddel."

Because of the Kanoeddel effect, we note that our rankings are not static. Hitting the refresh button on your web browser will cause the Mighty Max to recompute the rankings, resulting in a slightly different order."

In the Guide to the World's Top Universities, we find a perfect example of the first property with the Technical University of Munich occupying two different places in the rankings and also, in one case, being located in Dortmund.

The butterfly effect is illustrated perfectly by the data entry or transfer error that led to an incorrect figure for student faculty ratio for every university in the Guide.