Poppleton Blasts the League Tables

I have been a fan of Laurie Taylor's s satirical column at the Times Higher Education Supplement (subscription required) for a long time. The current issue has an amusing piece about Poppleton University's criticism of university rankings:


"Here at Poppleton, we strongly support this move. For although we were obviously gratified by our appearance at No 2 in the recently compiled Poppleton Evening News league table, our relatively lower positioning in the tables compiled by other newspapers is, we believe, the result of just such bias. Not one of these tables, for example, includes any of the following distinctive Poppleton features:

Size of Human Resources Department
Statistics show that Poppleton has more people involved in managing other people than any other university of comparable size in this country. "

Universities and colleges that complain about the failure of rankings to acknowledge their unique qualities, which somehow are not only unquantifiable but also inexpressible, deserve to be mocked. But they are a rather easy target. Will Laurie Taylor ever have a go at the THES-QS rankings?